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What he decides and what he says matches what he does.

He can act selflessly, but his acting in the best interests of the group is a thoughtful choice, not a response to relationship pressures.

While portrayed as the ideal, this is actually a model of a very unhealthy relationship.

Behavior of Codependent Enablers The precise definition of codependency varies based on the source but can be generally characterized as a subclinical and situational or episodic behavior similar to that of dependent personality disorder.

The basic building blocks of a " recognizes his realistic dependence on others, but he can stay calm and clear-headed enough in the face of conflict, criticism, and rejection to distinguish thinking rooted in a careful assessment of the facts from thinking clouded by emotionality.

Thoughtfully acquired principles help guide decision-making about important family and social issues, making him less at the mercy of the feelings of the moment.

Family therapist and Web MD contributor Tina Tessina, Ph D, LMFT says, "It's kind of a weird term [codependent], and it doesn't sound like it means a one-sided relationship, but often that's what it becomes.

This makes them highly dependent on the enabler to satisfy needs normally met by multiple close relationships.

In a codependent relationship, their poor functioning essentially brings them much needed love, care, and concern from an enabler and they are accepted as they are with their addiction, or poor mental or physical health.

The enabler's consistent support reduces the outside pressures on the enabled person to mature, or advance their life skills or confidence.

Among the core characteristics of codependency, the most common theme is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and identity.

For the enabler a codependent relationship fulfills a strong drive to feel needed.

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